Cthulhu Must Have Rolled Over In His Sleep
12.28.04 (11:49 pm) [edit]We've all heard now about the tsunami killing (as of now's figures) 60,000 people. I saw a special on TV about tsunamis a while back, and it's one of those things that reminds me of how fucking small I am. Scares the living fuck out of me to think about it. I can't swim to begin with, and it appears that it wouldn't matter much if I did. No beaches for me this month.
But something in the news coverage disturbed me, and I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way. I saw a copy fo the New York Times tonight that made a point in its headlines to say that one-third of the victims of this disaster were children. Now, I don't get this. It's horrible that so many children died, but isn't it horrible that ANYONE died? Jesus H. Christ hanging ten, are all the adults just a bunch of scumfuck shitstains now? What is it with our fixation on children? I HAVE a child, and I don't understand this. "Oh, but what about the future they could have had?" So what? What about the future that 74-year old guy drinking rum on the beach could have had? Maybe he could have got a bunch of teenage girls drunk and had them all blow him. That's a fuckin' future. huh? Or what about the people with jobs and kids and fuck knows what else, who might have had a fairly shitty life but somehow enjoyed it anyway? Fuck them! Let's cry for the CHILDREN! It's like turning on the TV and seeing that an airplane crash in Outer Fuckistan killed 347 people but TWO OF THEM WERE AMERICANS! Oh fuck! Their lives mattered MORE! Didn't they? Well, of course they did. They're Americans. We matter more. You damn French! Stop your bitching!
We pay lip service to humanitarianism and "compassion", but most of us don't give two fucks about anyone unless they're cute or on TV. Which is why wars and natural disasters are so much fun. They select our victims for us. And we feel all good about ourselves because we got all emotional for five seconds about the plight of one fucking person halfway across the world, but didn't have to think too much about the other bazillion who got fucked too. How convenient. And for pointing this out, I will now be called a "bleeding heart liberal" by someone, despite the fact that I wished I was a high-ranking member of the NRA late Sunday afternoon when I had to sit in traffic for hours because every single motherfucker in town went to see the Bengals game. I'd gladly have shot every one of those cocksuckers. Somebody make the Ohio River jump up about 40 feet and knock out some of these assholes!
Love,
Dougie
Happy Birthday, Jesus!
12.25.04 (8:19 am) [edit]Happy birthday dead Jew
Happy birthday dead Jew
Happy birthday dead Jesus
Happy birthday dead Jew
And 2000 more.
Going to Hell for that bit,
Dougie
Get Off My Lawn!
12.21.04 (12:45 pm) [edit]I was just doing a bit of cleaning in the garage (which still looks like shit) and looked at the Kerry-Edwards yard sign, sitting in between the cornhole game and the lawnmower, which seems oddly appropriate. And I thought to myself, why am I keeping this? What sort of nostalgia would THIS fucking thing serve? I'm gonna hang it on my wall so I can fondly remember the good old days of voting for some jerkoff I never liked to begin with, who was so worthless that he got his ass kicked by a complete idiot? Hell, why don't I just save my own poop in Mason jars and pull them out for little trips down memory lane?
"Ah yes. November 2, 2004. I dropped this puppy after a big lunch of tacos and beer, after standing in line with a bunch of Republicans for hours. Yep, this here is one of my favorite turds, sonny-boy. Dem were de good ol' days!"
I tossed it with the other garbage. Goddamn liberals. Get off my lawn!
Dougie
Hydrogen
12.17.04 (8:28 am) [edit]STUPID SHIT #1 - After trying to scare the fuck out of the entire country weeks ago by telling us all "There's no flu shots! You're all gonna die! Flee! Flee!", the government today says there might be too MANY flu shots out there, and they could all go to waste. I have an idea for them. Take the flu shots and shoot them up your asses, get sick, and DIE. Over-reacting, paranoia-inducing pricks. Guys, unless you've got a sound medical reason, stay the fuck away from flu shots. They're bullshit and they're more likely to get you sick than help. I know far too many people this has happened to to ever want a flu shot. I've never had one. I usually get a flu. For a week. Then I'm OK. People get sick sometimes, it's called LIFE. If you're in a high-risk category, get the damn shot. If not, just get sick, watch the tube for a week, then go back to work. You'll probably live. If you want to stay healthy, then lock yourself into a sterile climate-controlled room and eat a salad. The rest of us have actual lives to lead, and will likely outlive your weak pathetic excuse for for an underdeveloped body.
STUPID SHIT #2 - Sen. Zell Miller is going to present an award to the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth. How appropriate. A bunch of lying pricks being honored by a traitorous swinelord. I also find it interesting that Dan Rather got raked over the coals for what only really amounted to sloppy journalism, yet everyone ELSE in the media got away with taking these Swift Boat pricks seriously. Liberal media? My fucking ass. Most of what I saw in the news this year was Reagan-worship, Swift Boat scum, watered-down reporting of Bush's massive failures in Iraq, and Scott Peterson on trial. Speaking of which...
STUPID SHIT #3 - A piece of brain-dead protoplasm could have figured out O.J. was guilty as hell from all the evidence, and he walked. Yet Peterson, the evidence against him being largely circumstantial, might fry for what he allegedly did. Now don't get me wrong - the guy is obviously a scumfuck and I have no problem believing he was at least involved, and should therefore be stuck in a hole for a long, long, long time. But aren't we just a little too gung-ho about this capital punishment thing in America? I'll be honest - I'm all for it in extreme cases. A guy hacks up 27 women after fucking them in the ass with a brick? Fuck him. Osama Bin Laden? I'd PAY to see him thrown into a vat of boiling oil live on TV. I'm not THAT against the idea, but come on people. There's more than enough cases of people on death row eventually being proven innocent, and enough cases of assfucks getting off light, to know that our system is a little bit fucked up and we should take this a little more seriously. Our fine and lovely president had RETARDED people executed when he was a governor. RETARDED. They can't THINK RIGHT. Are we that callous about the lives of people we can SEE while we're so precious about the little blobs of tissue we can't possibly allow to be aborted because otherwise they won't grow up to be able to get killed overseas for our "freedom"? You Christians are fucking insane.
STUPID SHIT #4 - I'm not even going into detail on this one. Go read about what Bush wants to do to the Social Security system. If you can't figure out how stupid this is on your own, you DESERVE to be living in a box eating baloney when you turn 65.
STUPID SHIT #5 - Anyone who thinks Donald Rumsfeld is going away is entirely too optomistic. John McCain and Trent Lott - not exactly the most liberal guys - are both suggesting Rumsfeld should go. On one level, this is great and I'm glad some Republicans are being more forward about how much of a prick this assmonkey is. ("Shit, you don't need more armor! You might get BLOWN UP! Huh-ha!") but let's face it -this is one of the main architects of this wretched fucking war we're in, he was pushing for this before Bush was even in office. He got away with letting the prisoner abuse at Abu Grahaib slide, you think he's going anywhere NOW? I don't fucking think so. Four more years, boys and girls. We're so fucked.
I'm tired. Nighty-night, fuckers!
Dougie
Psycho-Cunts R Us
12.09.04 (7:10 pm) [edit]So I turn on Hannity & Colmes, which is pretty much asking for trouble to begin with. Colmes, gawd bless his wussy non-threatening little soul, is talking about the soldier in Iraq who asked Donald Rumsfeld why our troops don't have the armor they need to be protected on the job. Then Colmes introduces everyone's favorite nutbar right-wing wackjob, Ann "Dig My Hair" Coulter.
Ann, gawd bless her non-existent soul, starts into talking about how the soldiers are always complaining. I mean, they really complain a lot, don't they? And of course, Colmes doesn't bother calling her on her shit, because he's Alan Colmes and he's a useless little token-liberal-for-Fox turd who should be squished and remolded into the form of a little brown dick.
I turned the TV off.
Draw your own conclusions on this one, boys and girls. I'm gonna go do something else and try not to think about how much of a goddamn fucking idiot shithead psychotic clueless fucking cunt Ann Coulter is.
Goodbye,
Dougie