Disorder In The House
05.31.07 (11:21 pm) [edit]Everyone who pays any attention to me knows that I've been obsessed with Warren Zevon's music for the past couple years.
But until tonight, I hadn't watched the DVD I've had in my pile since I moved to Indianapolis, the VH-1 special shot while he recorded The Wind, his last album.
It was easy to handle until they started showing him with his kids. I've been crying nonstop since.
I have no desire to live as long as the grandparents I saw go into the ground in the past couple months. I have no desire to linger in a hospital or barely able to move in my own home.
But I want to see my daughter grow up, see her children.
I'm only 37, but the very real knowledge of my own death has come to me in these past few years. 've made peace with my own end. But not quite with saying goodbye to the people I love.
I'm going to be here a long time, but I can't seem to shake off the need to listen to Warren's songs of death. I don't quite know why, but I can't.
I had a call tonight asking me to play my first solo gig in southwest Ohio in seven years, right here in town, just up the street. Tomorrow night. I'll be singing a lot of his songs.
Because I owe him that.
Love,
Dougie
A Joke
05.29.07 (11:21 am) [edit]The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a
synagogue.
The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says,
"I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up. When we
have enough,
we send them back to the candle maker. And every now and then, they send us
a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually
had a practical answer.
So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way...
"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do... with the
crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the crumbs,
we send them in a box back
to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo
balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi. "Well,
Rabbi," he went on, "what do
you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions? "
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save
up all the foreskins. And when we have enough we actually send them to the
"Internal Revenue Service"."
"Internal Revenue Service?," questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Internal Revenue Service. And... about once
a year, they send us a little prick like you .
Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire
05.29.07 (12:15 am) [edit]And, once again, my thoughts are turned a thousand miles westward tonight...
Looking out the door
I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations
As their shoes fill up with water
And maybe I'm too young
To keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so
(you'll never know)
I'm broken down and hungry for Your love
With no way to feed it
Where are you tonight?
Child, you know how much I need it.
Too young to hold on
And too old to just break free and run
Sometimes a man gets carried away,
When he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage he's done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that, really,
He has no-one...
So I'll wait for you... and I'll burn oh
Will I ever see your sweet return,
Oh, will I ever learn?
Lover, you should've come over
'cause it's not too late.
Lonely is the room the bed is made
The open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one
Who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep
That will never come
It's never over,
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles
When I slept so soft against her...
It's never over,
All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she is the tear
That hangs inside my soul forever
Maybe I'm just too young to keep good love
From going wrong
Oh... Lover you should've come over...
'cause it's not too late...
I feel too young to hold on
I'm much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind
To see the damage I've done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, Lo
- Jeff Buckley
DON'T BUY CRACK ON JUNE 15TH!!
05.28.07 (6:52 pm) [edit]On April 1997, there was a "crack out" conducted nationwide in protest of cocaine prices. Crack prices dropped 5 bucks a rock overnight!
On June 15th 2007, all internet users are urged not to purchase crack in protest of high prices. Crack is now over $15.00 a rock in most places and as most of us crackheads know, that's an expensive habit!
There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average junkie takes about 25 bucks to fill up on a daily basis... that's a lot of panhandling!
If all users did not go to the corner on the 15th, it would take...uhhh... well... a hell of a lot more money than I've ever seen... out of the drug dealers' pockets, so please DO NOT BUY CRACK on June 15th and lets try to put a dent in the drug industry for at least one day.
If you agree (though I understand that withdrawal's a bitch and sometimes you just need that hard) resend this to all your contact list with it saying: ''Don't buy crack on June 15th"
Remember, you CAN make a difference! Tell those evil drug dealers what you think about their artificially high prices! Market forces of supply and demand? Fuck that, I want some rock!
Last Night's Gig
05.26.07 (9:26 am) [edit]Not a lot of people there, btu it was a good time anyway, and my flute-playing buddy sat in most of the night. I think I sang better than I have in three months.
SET ONE -
Improv - Does This Thing Work?/Cruel Shoes (Steve Martin)
Splendid Isolation (Warren Zevon)
What's So Funny 'Bout Peace Love & Understanding (Elvis Costello)
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away (The Beatles)
Lay Lady Lay (Bob Dylan)
Back In The High Life (Steve Winwood)
Heart Of Gold (Neil Young)
The Needle And The Damage Done (Neil Young)
Powderfinger (Neil Young)
Drive (Incubus)
Never Enough (Adrian Belew)
Well All Right (Buddy Holly)
Ankle Bracelet (Mike Keneally)
Delia's Gone (Johnny Cash)
SET TWO
Hope (For Abby) (D.B.)
Tangled Up In Blue (Bob Dylan)
Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)
I Talk To The Wind (King Crimson)
Lucky Man (Emerson, Lake & Palmer)
Pigs On The Wing/Pigs (Three Different Ones)/Pigs On The Wing (Pink Floyd)
Scarecrow People (XTC)
Karma Police (Radiohead)
Down By The River (Neil Young) (w/ bits of Hey Joe)
SET THREE
Memo From The Sports Desk - The So-Called "Jesus Freak" Scare (Hunter S. Thompson)
Heartattack & Vine (Tom Waits)
Searching For A Heart (Warren Zevon)
Werewolves Of London (Warren Zevon)
I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)
Revolution Blues (Neil Young)
James K. Polk (They Might Be Giants)
If (Pink Floyd)
Breathe (Pink Floyd)
Bridge Of Sighs (Robin Trower)
Bang A Gong (T. Rex)
King Of The Road (Roger MIller)
SET FOUR
Dumb All Over (Frank Zappa)
Devour/Ash Baskets, Behind You (D.B.)
A Shitload Of Warren Zevon Songs In The Key Of A - I Was In The House When The House Burned Down/Lawyers Guns & Money/Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead/Play It All Night Long/I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
When You Say Nothing At All (Keith Whitley)
Mexican Radio (Wall Of Voodoo)
16 Shells From A Thirty Ought Six (Tom Waits)
Guess I'm Doing Fine (Beck)
Rock & Roll Ain't Noise Pollution (AC/DC)
It Won't Hurt (Dwight Yoakam)
A Song For Almsthvn
05.23.07 (3:12 pm) [edit]I recorded a version of Beck's Guess I'm Doing Fine this afternoon. You can hear it here.
www.extrafancy.net/doug/fine.mp3
The song is full of regret and loss, and I do still feel some of that, but mostly it's been filtered through two years of healing and growth, and I feel as much strength in this as I do sadness now.
The past couple months have been very good between us, and my admiration and respect for her are unchanged.
Be well, Sheryl. I wish I'd written this song myself.
Love,
Dougie
PS I hope nobody reads anything much into the placement of this post directly after the last one. LOL
Songs About Good Ol' Fashioned Spouse Murder
05.23.07 (1:02 pm) [edit]My version of one of my favorite Johnny Cash songs, Delia's Gone, can be found here:
www.extrafancy.net/doug/delia.mp3
Love,
Dougie
Ridding The World Of Booze One Drink At A Time
05.23.07 (11:52 am) [edit]http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/md_youre_a_drunk.htm
Splendid Isolation
05.21.07 (10:54 pm) [edit]Poking around YouTube, I found this video of one of my half dozen or so favorite Warren Zevon tunes. I've referenced it in blog posts often, I use it to open my solo gigs (one coming this Friday) and it contains shitloads of irony for me. Enjoy, fuckers!
Who's On First?
05.20.07 (10:02 pm) [edit]A Wikipedia article on possible pre-Columbian discoveries of America.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Almost none of this can be substantiated to a convincing degree, and some of it is outright horseshit (ahhh, gotta love them Mormons...) but it does make for compelling reading, and I certainly have come to the conclusion that the Bering Strait model is at the very least over-simplistic. From there, keep readin. I think this shit is interesting, but what the fuck do I know?
Love,
Dougie
This Cracks Me Up
05.20.07 (12:07 am) [edit]
Poking around one of Sheryl's sets of pics, I found this one of Katie from last year. I
Is this a small child's version of "You are SO full of shit" or what?
Love,
Dougie
Bo Diddley's A Gunslinger
05.18.07 (11:18 pm) [edit]I cannot stress this enough - if you like your rock and roll raw, ballsy and direct with a great sense of humour and fun, loaded with personality and soul, you MUST get the new remaster of Warren Zevon's Stand In The Fire. My cock is hard for this fucking slab of audio goodness.
Love,
Dougie
Your Child Is An Asshole
05.17.07 (12:11 am) [edit]Sheryl and I had a discussion tonight about a couple other chidlren being pricks to our daughter.
Let's face it, kids can be assholes just like parents can. Unfortunately, my daughter has yet to learn the art of letting things roll off her, letting the dumbass words of bullies and shitheads bounce off and not affect her. She's a sensitive child, and I don't wish to take that from her, but I do hope to show her a few things about telling other kids to go fuck themselves when they try to hurt her. Not in those words exactly, but you get my goddamn drift.
Stick and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me: our children have beome PUSSIES because we havne't taught them that basic lesson. If "names" meant anything, the entire Republican Party could sue my ass into oblivion for the last four years of posts here. Fuck you. It doesn't mean SHIT.
What someone SAYS to you doesn't mean shit. If you think otherwise, you have given in. Stand on your own ground and don't be a pussy. Anyone who calls you names and badgers you into submission is an insecure little CUNT who needs their ass beaten.
I don't use that exact language with my daughter, but I try to instill the basic idea - you are you and anyone who wants you to be anything other than you is a sack of shit. Fuck them and the Fisher Price plastic they rode in on.
There are ways of maintaining this attitude without actually being a prick to the person in question. ("Daddy says 'fuck' a lot, but he's older and knows when and where to, don't try this at home just yet.") There are also ways of slicing the other fucker into ribbons with a few choice but intelligent words, and hopefully my daughter will learn the art of sarcasm before too long.
Contrary to popular beiief, not all children are special little darlings. Some of them SUCK (just like their cunt elders). and it is the responsibility of parents of the children who do NOT suck to let those kids know the difference and how to deal with them. This is not about "worth" or "respect for our fellow humans." This is about not letting your kid grow up to be an insecure bag of shit just because some miniature cocksucker flicked them with a towel too many times. Fuck that kid. He's a cunt. Teach your children to know the difference.
And You Thought MY Horseshit Stunk...
05.16.07 (7:22 pm) [edit]Katie and I are watching Ren & Stimpy. The epiode in which Stimpy has a horse test out two brands of kitty litter - a name brand, and Gritty Kitty.
The horse goes into the booth and closes the curtains, comes out, and delcares his verdict - the shit in the Gritty Kitty box doesn't stink!
I looked at Katie (who will be six tomorrow) and said, "Honey, think about this. The horse sat down and pooped in one catbox, then he GOT UP and went to the other catbox to poop some more. How often do you take a break while pooping to go poop somewhere else?"
She looked at me like I was OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND.
I love my kid.
Love,
Dougie
Requiem For An Asshole
05.15.07 (7:17 pm) [edit]The Teletubbies' chief nemesis is dead.
Go here. The Mammoth strikes again.
http://evilmammoth.tblog.com/...
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Love,
Dougie
Ok, I NEED To See This
05.13.07 (10:10 pm) [edit]http://www.badmovies.org/movies/jesusvamp/
I suppose this could be called "Jew-jutsu"?
OK, that was a terrible joke...
Happy Fucking Birthday, George Carlin
05.12.07 (12:51 pm) [edit]One of the most profound influences on my life and thinking is George Carlin, who I regard as a philosopher as much as a comedian. The name of this blog (pissshiver) is a reference to Carlin.
He's 71 today.
Happy birthday, you sick fuck. I love you like I would the uncle that molested me but did it really, really well.
Love,
Dougie
Reaching Out To Embrace The Random
05.09.07 (11:03 pm) [edit]Katie is with me tonight.
We watched a Tool video on YOuTube with various images from the Hubble. She sat enraptured the whole time.
She's asleep now.
I am in awe of this universe. The vastness of it, the fact that none of us could possibly see it all, the absurdity of believing it to be the product of a simple, understandable "god" that our limited imaginations are so foolish as to imagine instead of the observable truth of our very, very small place in this universe and all the implications that brings.
That awe is brought forth in microcosm when I sit here and watch my daughter sleeping.
Microcosm. A word you don't tend to use often when pushing a broom on a construction job.
Love,
Dougie
Happy Birthday, Abby
05.09.07 (12:26 am) [edit]She's never here anymore, but Daytripper7 is 18 years old today.
And I really fucking miss her.
Love,
Dougie
Memories Of Old Days
05.03.07 (11:58 pm) [edit]
My band about 11 years ago. Me and the singer are the only remaining members. I love this pic. We were pretty left-field back then, played a lot of weird shit, and almost never got gigs. I miss the raw purity of those days, but not the lack of money. :)
Love,
Doug
In FSM We Trust
05.03.07 (10:07 pm) [edit]My library is holding a book for me.
The Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
I can't fuckin' wait.
RAmen,
Dougie