Dazed & Confused
11.15.05 (5:40 am) [edit]"Been Dazed and Confused for so long it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Lots of people talk and few of them know,
Soul of a woman was created below."
- Led Zeppelin
Now I'm not so confused. Dazed, yeah. I just woke up from a dream about her. You can guess what it involved. What fucked me up wasn't her illness. It was how much I LIKED it. Enjoyed it. Got INTO it. Sick fucking bastard.
It's going to take a lot of psychological effort, because part of me is still really twisted, but I can't see Melinda again. For my own sanity.
They say things happen for a reason. I say hurricane. Tsunami. Fuck your reasons. But I'm trying to find something good to pull out of this.
A beautiful young lady likes me.
Maybe it'll happen again and she WON'T be a psycho-bitch creamy-filled nutbar. Or maybe not. But it does feel good to know I had a beautiful young girl in here last night, even if it turned out the way it did.
"You're very cute, Dougie." "I want it too." Her voice. Such a pretty voice. Saying things that would drive any man insane.
But I ain't playing doctor to her disease. My own is bad enough.
Dammit.
Time to go to work,
Dougie