Return Of The Testicles
11.28.05 (5:00 pm) [edit]Finally.
I didn't get what I wanted, but I got what I needed. Finally.
She looked great. Dress down day, so she had on jeans and a t-shirt instead of the uniform. We mostly had the usual exchange of conversation. When it was time to leave, I went back to the door by the sink where she was at to give her the tip. (No, not that, assholes.)
We talked longer than we have yet. About our kids, about work. She spent a long time looking at the newest picture of Katie, captivated by it. You win the contest there, girl. That was exceptionally cool to see.
Talked about driving long distance. "I don't like it much anymore unless there's somebody with me." I suggested she should drive with me. It actually seemd like she thought that was a good idea.
Her ex and her mostly get along, she's known him since she was 9 years old.
"So, who's the lucky guy now?" Ahhh, my way in. All the other ways I had sucked, which was why I still hadn't said anything to that point about what I was actually thinking.
"I've been seeing a guy for about three months."
Shit. I've been going there for around four. Dammit.
"It's not very serious, but we do have an understanding."
"So, what are you doing Friday night?"
A laugh. "Spending the evening with my daughter."
"I just asked you out." I tried to follow that with a smile. I meant it to be cute. It might have come out more obnoxious. She didn't seem to mind.
A big smile now. "Yeah, I know. See, we do have an understanding, and we don't see other people. But if I don't get a commitment out of him very soon, he's going bye-bye. I'll let you know what happens."
*Thunk*
KLONK
I'll. Let. You. Know. What. Happens.
Holy shit. There was no mistaking what she was saying. it was in her eyes, her smile. I have a shot. I really fuckin' have a chance with her. Maybe. Just maybe.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
"Well, I certainly don't mean to wish ill upon you,. but I guess I can hope..."
She laughed at that.
She likes me. She fuckin' likes me! Not as much as some other guy, but fuck it. She likes me! Holy jumped up Jesus in a baking dish!
I definitely got that vibe from her. Very strongly. I'm the next guy in line, I guess.
Now I know who she was pissed at a couple weeks back. Not the ex. this guy she's seeing now. I'm a tad concerned about "if I don't get a a commitment" because I wonder what she's lookin gfor, maybe more than I am, but fuck it. I'll find out when the time comes. Maybe she'll stay with him. but at least I KNOW something now. I can live with the outcome. I just needed to know. Now I do.
Holy fuckin' shit. I might just have a chance with this girl.
I left quickly because I was late to work. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. I was out of my goddamn mind for an hour. I blabbered like an idiot to Bob and Al about it. I felt like a teenager. It was hitting me in the chest. Not the groin. Wow. I really like this girl. And she likes me. Not enough just yet, but maybe. Just maybe.
I have work to do. Subtle work, if I can pull that shit off. I doubt I can. Maybe not so subtle. I have to pull back now in one sense, not get too carried away. But I have to keep myself in her view. Have to keep her interest, maybe even magnify it.
I thought about flowers. Hmmm. Maybe a good idea. But voerdone. Typical. No, I need something more special.
A CD. Of stuff. Mine. Full-range, no leaning on one facet of what I do. Keep the more typical things in there, the more sentimental things. Gotta have 'em. But dammit, I'm gonna draw a line for her to cross one way or the other. Some of the weird shit HAS to go on there. Let her know where I come from.
Decisions to make. How to do it, but do it right. Make a damn good impression, but the RIGHT one.
And try not to THINK so goddamn much, which is what I've been doing FAR too much of. I keep running all this SHIT through my head. Slow it down, asshole. Loosen up.
I might have to go back this week. Maybe I'll wait until Monday. but she even told me when she's going to be in and her usual hours. She wants me to know that stuff. She wanted me to know about the guy and about how she might not be with him much longer. I didn't pull this shit from her, she told me herself. that's a big fuckin' walk down the right road.
Man, I really like her. It felt good. The more deranged predatory stuff I was feeling for a while has sunk back down. I really honestly just want to get to know her more now. Make her laugh. Make her happy. And enjoy myself.
My head is all over the place right now. But she likes me. Holy fuckin' shit. I don't believe this.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
Dougie