Grrrrrr

Grrrrrr

Katie is coming next week while Sheryl is on a business trip. Since I HAVE to teach in order to survive the month, (especially since the temp agency hasn't delivered DICK this week, gee what a fuckin' surprise, thank fuck I planned accordingly) I worked out a schedule with my parents so that she'll be in Marion with them for a day and a half. I was going to go up there Wednesday night after teaching and we'd all wake up together Thursday morning, and all come down here. They could take Katie around town here and bring her to the store an hour or so before I leave, letting them get home at a decent hour. I know Katie can handle an hour or so in the store while I teach, she's a very well-behaved kid, but it would be massively unfair to expect her to sit there for four or more hours.

All this maximizes our time together and minimizes our time apart when she has to be in Marion. Frankly, after how good a job they did proving their incompetence and carelessness last summer when the cat attacked her, they're lucky I'm trusting them at all. What sucks is that I have no choice.

And this is a new thing for Katie. I don't want to leave her without either parent for any longer than necessary, though I know she'll be fine.

So I get an email tonight from Mom. "Dad has next Tuesday and Wednesday off and he's so happy to be able to see Katie. He's working Thursday, Did you say something about needing him off that day?"

Klunk.

You FUCKING MORONS. I wrote out a VERY detailed plan for next week, told you at least twice over the phone (and I know I told them both) and you STILL didn't pay attention? Jesus Fucking Christ. I'm Brain-Dead ADD-Freakhole Boy and even *I* can figure out what day I have to be available to TAKE CARE OF A CHILD. I drive down there EVERY FUCKING WEEK because I GIVE A SHIT. and you fucking ASSHOLES, who claim to be SO EXCITED to see her, you can't get your shit together on nearly a month's motherfucking cocksucking goddamn fucking notice??? Who the fuck ARE you people? And how the fuck did I manage to live to be six months old with you two incompetent selfish FUCKS as parents? Shit, I'm starting to feel like I AM pretty fucking cool, after all. "I survived The Shithead Twins." I should get a goddamn medal.

Goddammit.You fucking IDIOTS.

Over and over they prove how thoughtless they are, how they only really care when it's CONVINIENT to. Dad has become so fucking afraid of rocking anyone's boat in anyway that he refuses to ask for time off at work. You work at a fucking home improvement store in the tool department. These people have to deal with employees and their family issues all the time, and you can't ask for a day off over TWO WEEKS IN ADVANCE? For your GRANDDAUGHTER??? I just left a job where I was responsible for $50,000 of merchandise a day, and they'd let me off with 24 hours notice. What the fuck is YOUR problem? you selfish cowardly PRICK.

Of course, I'm used to this shit from Dad. He's made it plain my entire life that his bullshit needs are more important than mine. I've never been more than annoyance to him, because I turned out differently than what he APPROVED of. Shit, Dad. If you were AROUND more often, and said more to me than "You're doing that wrong" at least once a fucking DECADE, amybe I might have SATISFIED you more. You fucking cocksucker. And for the fifteenth time, GET YOUR FUCKING WILL MADE OUT. If I have to deal with miles of paperwork and bullshit becuase you are too fucking stupid to soften the impact of your death for your children, I swear I'm gonna dig a fucking hole myself and throw you in head first.

You'd think he'd loosen up a bit and take a little more time for his granddaughter when she really needs the help. Yeah, right.

And Mom...fucking hell. I used to be pissed at Dad for constantly treating her like a brain-damaged mouse who can't tell the difference between a hunk of cheese and a pile of its own poop, but to be honest, she seldom DESERVES any better. You could say "Mom, I need you Thursday" seventeen thousand times in a row, and ask her one second later what day you need her and she'd say, "Is that next week or next year?" Yes, these are the people who, when my daughter was attacked by a cat last summer and had cuts all over her head, couldn't figure out whether or not to take her to the hospital even with me standing there screaming "WE'RE GOING TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL, GODDAMMIT!"

And *I*, the fucking BOY-GENIUS I am, was stupid enough to live with these zoo creatures for nearly THIRTY FUCKING YEARS before I finally got out. It's no wonder I'm a goddamn basket case. I was stuck in the back room of a goddamn mental institution most of my life, cranking up Zappa albums in an attempt to battle the constant barrage of SHIT I had to deal with every day from these careless, self-absorbed TWITS eating fast-food and watching banal idiotic television fourteen hours a fucking day.

God, I don't want my daughter growing up like that. It's bad enough she has to have an asshole like ME for a father, but to be related to THESE fools?

They're good people. They try. But they DON'T KNOW HOW. Every time I think about how worthless I am at basic mechanical shit, social skills, remembering what planet I live on, wiping my ass, or not drooling on myself and jacking off into a Pepsi machine in public, I think "I'm pretty fuckin' balanced considering the lunatics that raised me."

They're probably going to work it out and Dad will trade a day with another guy. But after emails and telephone calls pointing out what I needed from them in order to take care of THEIR GRANDDAUGHTER (Gee, you think that might register with them in between watching the same fucking movies for the 100,000th time and drinking that shitty Wal-Mart bottled water that apparantly is working like acid on what few brain cells they have left) I'm sick of their shit. I HATE being beholden to these people in any way, shape or form. They were the primary reason I ran like a motherfucker to California back in 1999, just to distance myself from WHITE DUMBNESS as much as possible.

God, I hope I don't make Katie feel this way about me someday. Fuck knows I've been taught by the best.

I swear, if they keep this shit up, I'll cancel half my students next week and keep her here the whole time, and fucking starve for a week. My girl is more important to me than those fucking cunts will EVER be.

Dougie