Get Behind The Mule

Get Behind The Mule

Spent a couple hours going around the the places I'd looked at for shit jobs last summer while the temp agency was fucking with me. Then, it was over 90 degrees and I walked four miles in one day, sweating my nards off. Today it was in the 30s and windy as fuck, so I drove.

Came back home, did some fucking dishes (I put it that way because I'm starting to fucking hate doing fucking dishes and I'm always two fucking days behind on it, fucking fuckity fuck) and took a phone call. One of the other offices of the temp agency, offering me a job. Well, whaddya know.

It sucks rancid monkey dong in several respects, but I'll take it for a while. It's a hell of a drive way north of here (Stone, if you're reading this, I'm now working a bit north of you), and on the days I teach, I'll be doing an entire circle around I-465 plus the exttra drive farther north and back. But it doesn't conflict with teaching hours, they offer voluntary overtime I'll likely do the two days a week I don't teach, and it's enough extra per hour to...well, no it's not. But it'll help. I only need another 8 hour day a week to keep on top of child support, two days to feel comfortable with everything else. So I'll pull a few 40 hour weeks to catch up on shit, then drop it for something else.

Of course, I'll now have even LONGER days than I had before, running from 5:30AM to 9;30PM three days a week, on top of gigs and driving to Cincy. but I only need it for a few weeks, thank fuck. Then I can afford to wait a week or two for them to find me something else. If, of course, they do.

This day-to-day existence really kinda sucks, but I've been operating on the gut-feeling that if I follow my instincts, and really pay attention to what's going on inside me, I'll end up OK. Having cleaned up my interior bullshit to a large degree, I finally feel I CAN trust my instincts. And it's been working. Not perfectly by any means, but it's keeping me going better than I've been in years. The universe provides.

I spent a good while last night reading up on Quaker history and belief, and was rather fascinated. I've learned bits and pieces about them through my genealogy work, but reading how they split into different camps, and how widely different many sub-groups are from each other has caught my interest, because I'm finding myself rather attracted to the left end of Quakerism. I'm still working out what little is left of my own spirituality. Much of it has been crushed by, you know, REALITY. One of those little details that come up sometimes.

But the Quaker idea of The Inner Light appeals to me, partly because so many of the people who have taught the idea have gone far to divorce themselves from much of the horseshit that was in the Christianity I grew up with. You don't even actually have to BE a Christian to be accepted by some Quaker groups (though thwere's also the more conservative branches that look and smell like most Protestants) and I find that appealing because well, I'm not that into Jesus anymore. Oh, I LIKE the guy. I think it's sad how little most modern Christianity has to do with the real guy, how much of it has more to do with a bizarre pseudo-literal reading of Old Testament shit that even the Jews know you can't take that seriously. But Jesus? Seems mostly OK to me.

But frankly, I've got more solid spiritual and philosophical content from old George Carlin and Frank Zappa albums than I ever got from the supposed words of Christ. And if you think that's weird, well, I'm not gonna bother trying to explain it. It'll just waste my time and yours.

But I don't worship THEM either. Because it's STUPID, that's why. I have little interest in "God" in the meaning of that word generally accepted, and I have almost none in an "afterlife" that none of us know a fucking thing about, so why the fuck waste my time on it when I'm having a hard enough time getting my shit together in THIS life? What can I do HERE? Not a question asked by people overly concerned about getting into a "Heaven" with angels and gold-paved roads and chocolate bunnies and gee whiz we all get along so well and isn't it boring as fuck. My idea of "Heaven" revolves around never-ending blowjobs, bottomless vats of beer, and getting to eat cows without worrying about the consequences, NOT singing Christmas carols with a bunch of paint-by-numbers white motherfuckers dressed in robes and raising their hands in unison for the flag salute. FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANITY IS NO FUCKING FUN.

Religion serves a valid and useful purpose in the lives of many people. But for the vast majority of religious people I've had contact with, it's little more than another addiction. When booze and pussy lets them down, they find Jesus. Shit, look at our fucking president. Fuck everything up, then find God and pretend you've finally got it together. It's PATHETIC. Nobody finds Jesus on prom night. It's only when you've fucked up so bad nobody else will talk to your annoying ass that most people "find" Jesus. Then they expect you to find him too, because it "worked" so well for them. Yeah. Right.

Personally, I'm into more interesting vices than religion. And that's all it is for most Americans - a socially acceptable VICE, that they use to cover up how goddamn miserable they are when the less-acceptable vices dry up on them.

Me, I'm into porn. Larry Flynt is my personal Lord and Savior, and I worship at the throne of Jenna Jameson's asscheeks. A blessed sacrament is had by me, though I might need some Healing when my arm starts to hurts too much.

Hey, I'm an ADD-riddled freakhole. Cracking open a hymnal isn't going to hold my attention for too fucking long. Ever try to read the book of Leviticus in one sitting without your head exploding? But titties? Praise Gawd! FOCUS is to be found!

But hey, that's just me. I might "share" the Good News that www.pussy.org loves you and wants you to experience fulfillment and purpose in your life, but hey, I'm not gonna PUSH it on you. Your decision, my fine brothers and sisters in Christ.

Go find the articles on Wikipedia about Quaker history and the Inner Light. Makes for good reading, and might even give you a little more hope about SOME religion. Me, I've gotta go wax the dolphin.

Yours In Christ, (but not really IN him, because that's just fuckin' gay)
Dougie