Fuck
03.29.06 (9:39 pm) [edit]Conversation with A about twenty minutes ago as I drove home:
Me: So, ya wanna get together again sometime?
A: Yeah, I'd love to do that. I'd still like to see your band sometime.
Me: Yeah, we're playing farther north for a while, hopefully we'll be closer sometime soon.
A: I think I should let you know, I kinda have a boyfriend now.
Me: Oh?
A: Yeah, I think so. Seems like that, anyway. A very recent development.
Me: (Trying to be coherent.) I'm very happy for you. I hope it works out. (Am I telling the truth at this point? Or totally full of shit? Or both?)
A: Thanks. I feel like I've hurt your feelings.
Me: Yeah, kinda. I'll get over it.
A: I'm sorry. I'd still like to hang out soemtime. Maybe go for a hike.
Me: That would be very nice. I'd like that.
And it kinda went from there.
Gee, for somebody who wasn't ready for anything two weeks ago, that kinda fell into place quick. eh?
It DOES fucking hurt. I really like her. Still do. I'm quite confident I can do the "friend" thing and enjoy it. But to be told one thing and see something different within a couple weeks...that fucking hurts.
So I'll sit here in the dark and listen to Argentinan classical guitar music (a CD on the Naxos label) and drink. Which I said I wasn't going to do this week. I guess as long as I can't follow through on shit, I can't expect anyone else to give two fucks either.
Goddammit.
Dougie
posted by: OP (reply)
post date: 03.29.06 (6:09 pm)
It could be worse. Believe me - I know.
posted by: bhcorpse047 (reply)
post date: 03.29.06 (7:53 pm)
that's kinda like hoping and wishing for this girl to finally go out on one freaking date with you, only to find out she slept with her manager the very next night....
sometimes, i fucking hate chicks....
posted by: idiotbubble (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (12:49 am)
ahh, looks like you're seriously seriously hurt. Well, i agree with OP.
It could be worse. At least she's still willing to hike with you.
appreciate these moments.
She KINDA has a boyfriend.
It doesn't mean that she LOVES him.
Cheer up dude.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (3:14 am)
reply to idiotbubble:
I don't know how seriously, but it does hurt. But I'm thinking about how I had a good time with her that once and none of it really means shit. It doesn't. There's other options. I'll get over it, but right now it still feels a bit like getting shit dumped on your head.
posted by: onebadjen (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:47 am)
its weird that way... despite my extensive collecing of boy-toys since i got divorced i never really "fell" for any of them... i have been pretty habituated, take the kevin i was seeing before this one for example... i have thought that maybe i could love one or two of them... but then i meet this kevin on a fucking whim less than two months ago, and within a couple weeks was just hooked... to the point that i have spilled the terrible "L" word to a man for the 1st time since i said it sacastically to my ex during the divorce.
so yeah, i can see where maybe it was a bit out of the blue for her. i can imagine how the other guys that i admit i "like" and have messed around with must feel... when i told kev... the one that i had the on again off again thing with before he just kept telling me "its too soon" and implied that i didn't know what the fuck i was doing and then started the "whatever makes you happy" spiel. and no, it didn't make me feel good at all.
this stuff can be a bitch.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (5:47 am)
reply to onebadjen:
yeah, it's a bitch and I know shit just happens that way somtimes. hell, maybe I'll have to choose between two women at some point, though I obviosuly don't see THAT happening at the fucking rate I'm going right now.
the thing is, when you actually give a shit about someone, you want them to be happy. And I do give a shit about her, even though we don't know each other real well yet, so if she's found somebody she likes, I'm happy for her. It just desn't make ME feel any better.
Oh well, I'm gonna go have lunch and hit on my favorite waitress in a bit. What the fuck, eh?
posted by: jhillst (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:34 pm)
I've had that "not ready for anything"/turnaround situation before too with a girl. Only this time, the girl told me she didn't want to "jump into anything right now" -- and then two weeks later, she got ENGAGED. To one of my best friends. Who happened to be the same guy who was encouraging me to go out with her in the first place. Now THAT kinda hurt.
I think some women think they're being sensitive by letting guys down gently, but they don't realize that it just hurts all the more when we find out the truth. At least your lady friend was up front with you.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 03.30.06 (4:53 pm)
reply to jhillst:
Yeah, it could be a lot worse. I could be out of money with my car fucked up. Oops, that's happened too. Sorry to hear about your problem there. Shit, that's a bitch from hell. See, I'd turn gay if it weren't for the fact that MEN ARE WORSE. How fuckin' scary is THAT shit?