"Do you boys know any waltzes?"

"Do you boys know any waltzes?"

I gave up months ago on ever getting laid at most of our gigs since we keep playing these Eagles and Legion clubs in front of friggin' paleolithic fossils, but man, tonight took the prize. We barely got past 1965 out of fear of making this fucking AARP convention die of a mass heart-attack from having to hear some really awful heavy metal noise like, oh, I don't know, Jumping Jack Flash. I can just imagine the rattling of canes if we still had the balls to do Fairies Wear Boots or Children Of The Grave, which, of course, we DON'T. Dammit.

So, no pussy for Dougie. Again. Nothin' new there, of course.

I did Bang A Gong for my solo part. Last week I had a dozen women dancing to me. Tonight a bunch of people older than my mom (who was there for almost two hours, since I somehow managed to talk her into the death-defying feat of driving more than five miles down a wide-open state highway after dark) sat there and LOOKED at me. Fuck 'em anyway. i was thinking of somebnody a lot younger than them while I sang it. Younger than me, in fact. Hey babe, I'm still saving my pennies. :)

Also did Buddy Holly's Well All Right (I used to do it with Dennis, this was the first time by myself) , which went over much better, though I was told that the reason the guitarist was fucking with the PA the whole time I did it was because my vocals wer nearly inaudible for some reason. Ahhhh, professional show business.

The place used to be a skating rink, so it had a huge dance floor, and a very cool extra long stage with TONS of room, which always inspires me to move around a lot. At least until my back goes out. I spent the last set and a half on my stool doing my Robert Fripp impression. Haven't had to sit that often at a gig in a long time. I play better seated anyway. Shit, now I'M feeling old.

They want us back in July. so now we have a grand total of two weeks off until the beginning of August. I'm quite fine with that. I haven't quite had the nerve to tell the guys that I'm considering looking for a second band for weekday gigs. What the fuck else am I gonna do? Work in a goddamn warehouse the rest of my life? IF the temp agency actually works me, which they haven't done in two weeks now?

Money has become very bad. This month may end up with me in the hole in ways I really don't want to be. The beginning of May should bring that back to at least a workable place if I'm actually working more, but I'll have to be doing forty hours a week somewhere very, very soon. Students have dropped off sharply in the past few weeks, and I've had more problems with people not showing up, not calling - and therefore not PAYING - than I've ever had teaching. I've got two weeks to figure out how to come out of April without being severely fucked. I'm about to start putting random stuff on eBay and selling hand-molded poop-monkeys out of the back of the car at busy intersections. "Hey! You! In the SUV! I've got a sculpture of an ape I made out of my own shit! Ten bucks! No, come on! Roll your window back down! Coem back! Work with me here, motherfucker!"

In this fucked-up country, I might actually be able to pay the rent like that.

Well, time for go to bed, Tor. I'm gonna jerk off thinking about both Amanda and my favorite barely legal teen. Because you've gotta have goals, my friends. You've gotta have goals.

Love,
Dougie

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