Dumb All Over

Dumb All Over

So the state of Georgia is now giving state sponsorship to Bible classes. Oh, how lovely. I suppose when the devil went down there, he found just a few too many souls to steal and now you fucking fundamentalist Christians want them back, eh? As if Satan doens't have anywhere better to go than fucking GEORGIA.

This is STATE SPONSORSHIP being used for RELIGIOUS PURPOSES. What's happening to this country? And why is it that despite owning the President and a majority of Congress, getting their shit through the FCC, getting more and more attention from the "liberal" (my ass) media and representing most of the fuckers who hold me up in "red state" traffic, they STILL insist that some massive "anti-Christian" conspiracy is overtaking this fine God-fearing nation of ours? Why? Because somebody made a movie in Hollywood about fags kissing? What the fuck is WRONG with you assholes?

Our priorities are SHIT. The Republican party - bought and sold long ago by the Religious Right - are pushing wars with enemies other than the people who actually attacked us, pushing for restrictions on what can be said in the media, going apeshit about homosexuals (as if it AFFECTS them in ANY meaningful way), and continuosly propogating the LIE that this country was founded by people with the same "values" as they. Hey, asshole. The guys who founded this country valued OWNING BLACK PEOPLE. How about updating our approach to MODERN NECESSITIES rather than rewriting history in your tainted fucking image?

One of the things that makes our country great is that you can believe any shit you want to believe. One of the other things that makes it great is the separation of church and state that makes sure assholes who believe one thing in particular don't end up FUCKING THE REST OF US IN OUR NON-BELIEVING ASSHOLES.

Bible classes are not part of the Constitution. In fact, they VIOLATE the rights of those of us who DON'T BELIEVE THAT SHIT. you might want to take a moment to separate FAIRY TALES from REALITY and know that SCIENCE makes for EDUCATED STUDENTS. RELIGION is for church, NOT for schools.

A nation that ignores its poor, ignores education, ignores the poisoning of our air, water, and food supply, ignores a solid and effective infrastructure, and values CONSUMERISM AND JESUS above all, does not DESERVE better than what we are getting. We are perfectly happy to give up some of our freedoms (or, to put it a more accurate way, the freedoms of those who don't think like we do) for the ILLUSION of safety and security, the ILLUSION of a "God-centered" culture. I've got news for you fuckers. your precious leaders don't ultimately give a FUCK about God, they care about OIL and MONEY. This is not even debatable among people who READ and are capable of CRITICAL THINKING.

Further news for you fucking Christians that I know you don't know about. Us nasty "liberals" (I just love being able to call myself that, especially since I'm more truly conservative than the current neo-con fucks EVER will be) ARE NOT OUT TO GET YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS VALUES. We don't give a SHIT what you believe as long as you LEAVE US ALONE. Making movies about queers is not an attack on you. It's a fucking MOVIE. Stay the fuck home and watch Pat Robertson if you don't like it. We're FINE with that. We don't CARE about the shit YOU do in your spare time. I couldn't give a fuck about The Passion Of The Christ or the Left Behind series. YOU CAN HAVE IT. Good for you. That's YOUR thing and you are WELCOME TO IT. You don't see guys like me picketing bookstores because Tim LeHaye is "undermining my values." No, I'm at home PRACTICTING my values. You know, downloading porn, jerking off, drinking beer, and READING every once in a while. Those are my values. And don't pretend yours are BETTER somehow. THEY SERVE THE SAME PURPOSE. You get to feel good because you've deluded yourself into thinking God loves you. I get to feel good because I got to delude myself for about three minutes that Aurora Snow wants MY dick in her ass. The only difference is that with enough alcohol and a few ropes, MY DREAM MIGHT COME TRUE.

Republicans won an election because they somehow managed to make a chickenhawk fool look "braver" than a decorated war hero, because they managed to get millions of people behind NON-VALUES about gay people, and because they SCARED THE SHIT out of the general public with a "war on terror" that has little to do with what actually happened on 9/11 and a hell of a lot to do with POWER. You fuckers control most of what happens in this country now. But that isn't good enough, is it? Now you have to extend that shit into EVERYTHING, including fucking BIBLE CLASSES in schools that aren't even good enough to teach these little fuckers how to count to ten. Do we need these Bible classes? NO. Our economy and our social structure does NOT depend on some half-wit at a Taco Bell drive-through being able to know that JESUS SAYS SEX IS BAD. It also doesn't depend on the same annoying little half-wit beng able to make proper change, but at least THAT gets traffic moving a LITTLE BIT FASTER, which makes for more time for you people to take the tax money you saved on going to such secular activities as...oh, I don't know...providing decent HEALTH-CARE to sick people (something I think Jesus might show some interest in if he were here today) and spend it instead on SHIT YOU DON'T NEED.

The idea that this is or ever has been a "Christian nation" is NONSENSE. CHRIST HIMSELF might have a thing or two to say to you fat fucking consumers in your fucking gas-guzzling SUVs, spending countless dollars on meaningless entertainment and fast-food and filling your kids full of Ritalin if they don't RESPECT you. (Phewwwwwwwwww.)

There are some Christians who KNOW what Christ was about. Not many, but a few. People who have READ the words of Christ (and don't confuse them with the other shit in that confused, contradictory, source-varied, and utter anachronism known as The Bible) might have values like CHARITY. Like TOLERANCE. Like PEACEFULNESS. Like INTELLIGENCE. Meanwhiie, you fuckers and your continuous support for a lying, cheating, war-mongering, simple-minded WHOREBAG PRESIDENT are obviously more faithful to PEOPLE than you are PRINCIPLES, and THAT is why I say take your fucking Bible classes back to your churches and LEAVE US OUT OF IT. We don't need our children filled with your "values." We need children who can THINK FOR THEMSELVES, can come up with workable solutions to basic life-situations, can READ, and who value "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (You know, something CHRIST taught?) over "do unto others before they have a chance to do anything that might actually matter unto you.."

You don't need the Ten Commandments, people. Most of those commandments are religious horseshit that have no bearing on the needs of modern civilized man, and the few that do don't need RELIGION to enforce them. You think we couldn't come up with "don't kill, don't lie, don't steal" on our own? Like YOU fuckers are the sole proprieters of that? Take a look at your fucking President and give me that shit, you hypocritical FOOLS.

If you need your centuries-modified, handed-down-by-generation s view of Jesus to be able to make it through your day, FINE. Enjoy it. Treasure it. But DON'T INFLICT IT ON US. A few TV shows or books are not going to bring down your empire. Your influence is GROWING, thanks in no small part to the bought-and-sold leaders of this formerly great nation who have BULLSHITTED you that they "care" about your "values" in order to get your MONEY and your VOTES. Look past their words (which are LIES) and look at what they DO. Then ask yourself what would JESUS do if he were in their position. I guaran-fucking-tee you that the answer is going to be QUITE different than the example given to you by the SWINE who run our government, Republican and Democrat alike. These people are SOULLESS CASH WHORES who have been pushing your buttons for years to make you THINK they are on your side. They're not. You are more meat for the grinder, motherfuckers. While you spend the money they haven't taken away on bullshit and sit in front of the tube burning away brain cells instead of pursuing INDIVIDUAL FURTHER EDUCATION, they are running away with the REAL money, the REAL power, and you are left holding the empty bag. I'd feel sorry for you, but you ASKED for it.

Whoever we are
Wherever we’re from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
It’s gonna take a lot more
Than tryin’ to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether

They call it The Earth
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
’cause we behave the same..,
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near ’n far
Dumb all over,
Black ’n white
People, we is not wrapped tight

Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religous fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin’ the Bible
Tells the story
Makes the details
Sound real gory
’bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Don’t believe in the book
We got over here

You can’t run a race
Without no feet
’n pretty soon
There won’t be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religous fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it won’t blow up
’n disappear
It’ll just look ugly
For a thousand years...)

You can’t run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state

To arms! to arms!
Hooray! That’s great
Two legs ain’t bad
Unless there’s a crate
They ship the parts
To mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (get down!)
Not his, not hers, (but what the hey? )
The good book says:
"it's gotta be that way!"
But their book says:
"REVENGE THE CRUSADES...
With whips ’n chains
’n hand grenades..."
Two arms? two arms?
Have another and another
Our God says:
There ain’t no other!
Our God says
It’s all okay!
Our God says
This is the way!

It says in the book:
Burn ’n destroy...
’n repent, ’n redeem
’n revenge, ’n deploy
’n rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
’cause they don’t go for what’s in the book
’n that makes ’em bad
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb
To poof them out of existance
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise
OUR GOD
('Cause he can really take care of business!)

And when his humble tv servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It’s okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
’cause if we don’t do it,
We ain’t gwine up to hebbin!
(Depending on which book you’re using at the
time...can’t use theirs... it don’t work
...it’s all lies...gotta use mine...)
Ain’t that right?
That’s what they say
Every night...
Every day...
Hey, we can’t really be dumb
If we’re just following God’s orders
Hey, let’s get serious...
God knows what he’s doin’
He wrote this book here
An’ the book says:
He made us all to be just like him,
So...
If we’re dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(An’ maybe even a little ugly on the side)

From the album "You Are What You Is" by Frank Zappa

When something that "offends" you comes along, learn to look the other way and merely be INCONVINIENCED by it. That's what we've been doing with most of your bullshit for years. But when you make that shit into NATIONAL POLICY, you better expect us to fight back, because this country is for ALL of us. It's for YOU. It's for US. ALL of us. Now get back to your business in this country, and LEAVE US TO OURS. And maybe, just maybe, start making your decisions based on what is best for EVERYONE and not just the people who smell like you do.

Love (no, really),
Dougie

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I just read that our asshole Attorney General is now going apeshit over kiddie porn. Yet another Republican tactic to distract freom the REAL problems. You wanna know how to stop kids from being exploited by pornographers? EDUCATE THEM. Kids who have some degree of self-respect and aren't IDIOTS won't be "victimized" by those nasty porn merchants. And lower the age of consent (and therefore the "modeling" age) to 15. It's the only rational decision.