You've Gotta Feel Sorry For 'Em Sometimes...
05.23.06 (11:52 am) [edit]Some emails going back and forth because one of our June gigs needs to be cancelled because of a conflict with the guitarist's new band. I don't really mind this at all, we just havne't nailed down which week it will be yet.
He's joined a "Christian rock" band on the verge of recording an album that is supposed to be out by Christmas. I love the reply he got from one of the other guys to his initial email about having to take one of the June gigs off.
"See if they can move it to when we have a week off in August. You have committments to both bands, so if they're a Christian company, they'll understand."
He's a really nice guy, and usually one of the more reasonable religious people I know, but that's a pretty fuckin' optomistic statement, dontcha think?
I think it's sad how naive people can be when you throw Jesus into their pot. This is a BUSINESS. They don't give two shits about us or our schedule, and they have no REASON to. I figured this shit would happen when the guitarist first said he'd be doing this. It was inevitable. It's simply reality. We're a bar band making $80-90 a piece each week. They're giving this other band an advance that will come out to more money than he makes in two years at his current job. Do the math. I think Jesus himself would say "Tugh shit, guys, enjoy your week off."
Why is it you can put the word "Christian" in front of your personal description and people somehow assume you're OK, even look the other way when you are obviously an ASSHOLE? Fuck, look at the degenerate pigs that run this country. THEY are supposedly into Jesus too, but they'd sell their own mothers down the river floating on a shithouse door if they thought it would make them a buck.
If I hear somebody say "I'm a Christian" these days, I figure he MIGHT be a decent human being, but I'm gonna have to assume that what he's really saying is "You are fucking expendable, sinner." The vast majority of Christians I've encountered have managed to work out a perfect psychological pretzel in their attempts to bend every fucking thing in their world to THEIR idea of "what God wants", and anyone who stands in their way obviously isn't in tune with Jesus. For a group of people who claim that their book is the infallible and unmoveable Word Of God, they sure do a fucking bad job of reading the parts about being good to OTHER people.
The guy who wrote this "if they're a Christian company" nonsense isn't like that. Too bad he seems to think other people are as good as he is, though. And really, I don't think this has a fucking thing to do with God. It's a business protecting their interests. It fucks with us, but shit happens. I've got no feeling about that part of it at all. But assuming that Jeezo-folk (or ANYONE) will put the interests of a local bar band above their product is just goofy.
Anyway, we're going to have an extra week off right around the time I move. Sucks on a income level, but will be better in just about every other way given the timing.
Love,
Dougie
posted by: verucassalty (reply)
post date: 05.23.06 (11:23 am)
amen!
lol
posted by: jhillst (reply)
post date: 05.23.06 (12:28 pm)
Reminds me of a time that a guy I knew asked me to play keyboards for a gospel choir show he was organizing for his church. One of the members of my bar band said something like, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, some of the people might recognize you from our band. They might wonder what you're doing playing in church if they've seen you playing and drinking in bars with us." As if the two projects wer somehow irreconcilable.
That's nowhere near as funny as the actual show itself, though. It was a complete disaster...the guy had no idea how to direct a group of musicians. On the day before the performance (which was the FIRST day the choir and the band actually rehearsed together), it was obvious by the end of practice that we were sucking to high heaven. So, the choir members did what any good Christian would do: They yelled at Satan.
I'm dead serious. One of the kids got up on stage and said something like, "God, Satan knows that if people hear our music tomorrow, they will have their hearts and minds changed to follow you. God, tell Satan to leave the room! Satan, leave the room and leave our voices alone! Stop making us sing and play horribly! Stop causing problems with the sound system! Go away Satan, and let God allow us to do a good job tomorrow!"
Personally, I think Satan was the one responsible for organizing the whole show in the first place.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 05.23.06 (4:01 pm)
Shit, I was just jamming on some old Allman Brothers tunes with Satan last night. He plays a mean slide, that horned little bitch. I can still drink the fucker under the table, though.
posted by: jhillst (reply)
post date: 05.24.06 (9:03 am)
Funny, I always thought Satan only played the fiddle. Or was it the accordion?
I hear Jesus plays a mean water jog.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 05.24.06 (2:49 pm)
I think Stephen lynch said it best:
And if I want to eat your soul, I'll just throw it on a griddle.
I don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle
And fuck Charlie Daniels I don't care if he can fiddle
I'm Satan.
The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal
That's fucking bullshit because I wouldn't be caught dead in Georgia
Ok, it's like oh my god!
Six, six, six!