Ehhhh, What's Up My Ass, Doc?

Ehhhh, What's Up My Ass, Doc?

After yesterday's post, I found myself driving down I-75, listening to Soft Machine's Third (Hugh Hopper - you are a god among bassmen) and every twenty seconds or so, I would start chanting "Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!!"

I don't know if this is considered psychologically "normal", but IT HELPED ME FEEL BETTER.

The amount of rancid festering alpaca balls that the past couple weeks have sucked are legion. (Another sentence you don't read often, and if you like the phrase "rancid festering alpaca balls", don't thank me, I stole it from a friend.) How I've managed to keep my bipolar ass from snapping like a psychotic crack-swilling twig, I'm not sure, but I MUST be in a much better mental place than I was a year ago, because I was convinced back then that ALL IS INDEED LOST, and it wasn't nearly as bad of a situation as the one I've been in recently.

But the kindness of family and friends cannot be understated. I hate being dependent on others, the past year has been a concentrated effort to be as independent as possible, and it's all kinda gone to shit in the past couple months, but sometimes you simply have to admit you're FUCKED on your own and turn to others. I'm praying to Gods I No Longer Believe In that I can be back on track in the next couple months. We'll see.

I got the keys to the apartment yesterday, and spent the afternoon running around like a loon, starting the transfer of stuff from storage to my new home. This will take about a week with my schedule finally falling into place (I AM working Monday, and even the temp agency has finally shown some decency in the last couple days) but I have a week left on the storage unit anyway. So no more money has to be spent there. Yay!

I put 150 miles on the car yesterday befor eI left town. I've put something like $115 in gas in my car in less than two weeks. not working, no money except what I've had to accept from others, driving constantly in search of a job (120 miles in one day last week) - I've been KILLING the car and my wallet.

but I got a few loads of stuff to the apartment, and...left. I'll be sleeping there for the first time tonight. I'm in Marion now, ready for an outdoor gig tonight, earlier time, nearly as much pay as usual. We haven't played in a few weeks. If I get to do my solo spot, I'm planning on the old blues tune Key To The Highway, a remnant of my psychosis over Layla a few weeks ago.

I came up through Indy last night. I pulled into a familiar place, a parking spot I knew well. I sat in front of my old apartment for two or three minutes, seeing it for the first time since I left a month ago. Somebody's in there now. I wonder if they've met the little crackwhore next door. Lucky bastard probably has, and was over there fucking her - her light was on, and I had to chuckle thinking about how glad I am to not have THAT distraction around anymore. She sure was a cute little slut, though...

I like my new apartment, but I don't love it. I loved the one in Indy. I was paying $450 a month for something would likely have cost $1400 if I'd stayed in California last year. Even in this area, it was a fucking great deal on a very nice place. My new place saves me $45 a month in rent, but compared to what I've moved away from, I think it's worth much less than that. But I do like it, and it's good to be back in SW Ohio. I'm just going to miss my previous home for a while longer.

I visited my good friend D9 last night, and let me just say that here's another utterly rockin' individual who I'm very lucky to know. It was a good time, and I've got another Jello Biafra set to listen to now, somebody I'm still listening to often.

Listening to Jello, I've decided that when I'm able to start focusing myself back onto politics (for all the crazed shit I was writing a year ago, my ability to stay up on news has been pretty bad recently) I'm going third-party. I don't really regret voting Democrat in the last election, it seemed the right thing to do at the time even though I had about as much use for Kerry as I do the aforementioned alpaca testicles, but the biggest lesson I've learned in the past couple years is that I have no use for these games anymore, the posturing of people pretending to be polar opposites who AREN'T. They just aren't, and fuck them anyway. This country needs a new party, and it's going to take a lot of work and a lot of time, and we're not going to be taken seriously at first, and we'll lose a lot of battles, but it will be worth it. I despise what this once-great country has become, I despise a system that has turned its back on the people who truly make it function at all, and I'm going to do my part to knock a chip out of that fucking wall.

But retaining a sense of humour is vital, remaining open to each other is essential, and not becoming the kind of fundamentalists that our opposition are is of such importance that I think it's going to take a very, very special person to pull a third party into a position of worth, and I don't have a fucking CLUE who it's gonna be.

But I wanna be there.

Time to shower and get today's shit together. Tomorrow is Katie-time, and she'll be going with me as I audition for a new band. Should be interesting.

Love,
Dougie

PS In reference to the wretched Ohio heat of recent days, I have invented a new phrase - "pigfuckingly awful." I'm very proud of this.