Gelatinized

Gelatinized

The girl I saw last week who fried my brain but I couldn't talk to her. I saw her again tonight, and I talked to her. And had the most amazing 10-15 minute experience with...uh...she's 16.

That's legal. But kinda fucked up. Her parents are my age.

She ate up all my stupid jokes, and all my over-the-top compliments. Within 2 minutes I let go and wasn't even trying to hold back except for outright saying I wanted to devour her. She told me I'm cute. SHE SAID I'M CUTE. I immediatley started jumping around yelling "She said I'm cute! She said I'm cute!" like that Rudolph The Red-Nosed Fuckin' Reindeer bit, and she GOT it.

She wanted to touch my hair. It nearly made me collapse. She must have said 7 times how much she loved my hair, and when I showed her Katie's picture, she practically came apart babbling how beauitful she is, which is exactly what I was doing to HER.

She let me touch her hair too. I had to stop almost immediately, before I went nuts.

I expect women to be either scared of me or regard me as some stray wet puppy to feel sorry for. She didn't show a trace of that. She LIKED me, and said so.

But i'm 20 years older than her and she doesn't want to freak out relatives. She told me her mom went ballistic on her for going out with a guy who was 27 a month ago. She strikes me as a very upper-middle-class, very smart girl who probably has some serious plans after school. Fucking around with a guy over twice her age is probably a bad idea, but she told me outright that she likes older guys a lot more, can't stand guys her own age, doesn't really like anyone who's not ten years older than her. I asked her about 20 and she said, "Why not?" But she's trying to be a good girl for mommy and daddy.

I tried to half-jokingly, half-serious change her mind, but I knew it was a lost cause.

Jesus, my head is spinning. I just had an astoundingly beautiful young girl laughing at my jokes and telling me she liked me. She looks like a magazine cover.

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She told me where she hangs out. She wants to see me again.

I'm not sure I feel the same way. I think I'm going to get my ass burned if I do see her much more. I'm not worried about parents or shit like that. I'm worried about this girl fucking up my head. She comes off like the most amazing little sweetheart, but this girl could DESTROY a man. i have NO idea how I didn't reduce myself to a drooling freak in nanoseconds, but I didn't. I WANT this girl. The way an alcoholic wants the one last bottle he knows will kill him. It's a BAD IDEA. and part of me doens't give a shit.

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Fuck, I've gotta go to bed and to work tomorrow, then to Louisville right after for a Keneally clinic. And i've got some girl bouncing off the walls of my skull. Jesus creeping shit.

Somebody shoot me,
Dougie
PS Abby, if you're out there, please write.