Reasons To Quit That Merle Haggard & Willie Nelson Never Sang About
11.13.06 (12:21 pm) [edit]"You've seen the transvestites, you drive past the gay bar on a Saturday night and they're all lined up, dressed up like Judy Tenuta or Diana Ross, but you're seeing the night-time dolled-up transvestites, all dressd up and ready to lip-synch to a Billy Ocean song or something. You don't see the breakfast transvestite, and that'll queer you away from the night-time transvestites. When you see them shuffling in at 8:30 in the morning, and they don't have a wig on, the makeup is all smudged, 5 o'clock shadow coming through. They've still got nice tits, but the dick is flopping around in sweatpants with no underwear, and you're going "Man, thank God I didn't have that last shot of Jagermeister."
- Doug Stanhope, the next president of the United States Of America
I'm listening to Stanhope's Deadbeat Hero while I clean the apartment. Wow. I'm Pat Sajak next to this sick fuck.
Love,
Dougie