ABC Thing

11.27.06 (9:36 pm)   [edit]

Stolen from Sheryl's blog:

 

The Letter A

Are you available?: Yep

What is your age?: 36

What annoys you?: Damn near anything if you get me at the right time

The Letter B

Do you live in a big house?: I'm sure the bugs on the wall think so, but I don't

When is your birthday?: April 13

Who is your best friend?: A bottle, a CD player, and the darkness. They're kind of a trinity most nights.

The Letter C

What's your favorite candy? Twizzlers. And thanks for reminding me, now that's half of what's on my mind.

Who's your crush? I still have some weird 12-year old puppy-dog thing for a girl I call Layla, who is married to one of my best friends.

When was the last time you cried? Probably in the middle of a Zevon song while drunk, not long ago. Funnily enough, that would also be the last time I danced around the room like a loon.

The Letter D

Do you daydream? I live in one.

What's your favorite kind of dog? One that isn't in my Chinese dinner

What day of the week is it? Monday

The Letter E

How do you like your eggs? very done, omelette with mushrooms, garlic, onions, black pepper and hot sauce

Have you ever been in the emergency room?: Yes

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Thinking about pussy

The Letter F

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yes, my dad used to be a pilot

Do you use fly swatters? Nailed a bug for my kid just last night

Have you ever used a foghorn? No, but I have a really big leghorn. OK, I don't, and that was an abominalbe joke. My apologies.

The Letter G

Do you chew gum? Not often, a bit more these days though

Are you a giver or a taker? I've got taking down to a science, and I'm trying to learn how to reverse that into something more balanced.

Do you like gummy candies? Every once in a while. I think those were invented for kids, though.

The Letter H

How are you? Merrily semi-drunk. The veggies I'm chewing on seem to take the edge off the beer.

What's your height? 5'10"

what color is your hair? Brownish, some white.

The Letter I

What's your favorite ice cream? Chocolate

Have you ever ice skated? No.

Do you play an instrument? Several, a couple of them well enough to get paid for it.

The Letter J

What's your favorite jelly bean? Red, maybe black

Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Well, I was in this talent agent's office the other day, and...

Do you wear jewelry? No, but a year and a half later, I sometimes think I feel a ring where one used to be, which is an odd feeling.

The Letter K

Who do you want to kill? Ehhh, I'd rather make 'em work third shift in a BP station.

Do you want kids? The one I have is so great, I think I'll stick with her. I ain't gonna get that lucky again.

Where did you have kindergarten? Jonesboro, Indiana

Letter L

Are you laid back? Not really. I try and usually fail.

Do you lie? Not nearly as much as I used to, but let's not talk to the tax man about this one, 'k?

The Letter M

Whats your favorite movie? Arsenic And Old Lace

Do you still watch disney movies? Required part of being a dad

Do you like mangos? Damn, that sounds realy good right now...

The Letter N

Do you have a nickname? Doug Stanhope called me "Captain" in an email recently. I called him "Cunthair" in return.

Whats your favorite number? 667, The neighbor of The Beast

Do you prefer night over day? I'm funnier at night, but it hurts more then.

The Letter O

Whats your one wish? That I'll pull my head together enough to finally feel like a decent human being and be more productive and serve my loved ones better. But I'll settle for a handjob, Captain.

Are you an only child? No

Do you wish this was over? Nah, this is the most fun I've ever had with my underwear up the crack of my ass.

The Letter P

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Losing my daughter.

What's a personality trait you look for in the sex you like? The necessary insanity to want to be around me. The ability to impersonate an industrial vacuum cleaner is a close second, I should add.

The Letter Q

Are you quick to judge people? Too quick.

The Letter R

Do you think youre always right? Shit, I'm wrong at least half the time. It's called thinking for yourself.

Do you watch reality tv? I barely watch TV at all.

Whats a good reason to cry? Warren Zevon songs that remind me of who I really am.

The Letter S

Do you prefer sun or rain? Sun, but I've nothing against the rain.

Do you like snow? When I can look at it but not have to drive in it, it rocks.

What's your favorite season? Not sure, but I think I'm leaning towards summer.

The Letter T

What time is it? 9:47PM

What time did you wake up? 7:30

When was the last time you slept in a tent? I made a pup tent...

The Letter U

Are you wearing underwear? That and a ratty shirt that's about to fall apart.

Do you prefer underwear or thongs? Nothing at all when I can.

Underwear or boxers? Well, I tried to wear a boxer on my cock once, but he beat the shit out of me. Fucking big gloves on that guy...

The Letter V

Whats the worst veggie? Hmmm....I can't think of one offhand...

Where do you want to go on vacation? All alone in the desert, just like Georgia o'Keefe

Where was your last family vacation to? If you count me and the kid, this weekend to Indiana

Letter W

What's your worst habit? Guilt

Where do you live? North of Cincinnati

The Letter X Have you ever had an x-ray? A few times

Have you seen the x-games? Nope.

Do you own a xylophone? Nope, but I've got a keyboard with several keys missing that I just put a xylophone patch on and played the melody of Montana badly on.

The Letter Y

Do you like the color yellow? Only as a friend.

What year were you born in? 1970, three days after Paul left the Beatles.

Whats one thing you yearn for? A big fuckin' guilt-eraser.

The Letter Z

Whats your zodiac sign? Aries

Do you believe in the zodiac? About as much as I believe anything I'm told.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Dubya. Throw him a peanut!

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