Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
11.30.06 (8:02 pm) [edit]I went back. I got her phone number. She was QUICK to give it to me. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $20 says she has a dick. Who wants to bet? Like I care at this point. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! !!!!!!!! Dougie
-------------
The above (Two hours ago? One? Thirty? I can't recall)looks so funny without paragraph markers that I'm gonna leave it that way.
One hour 'til I call her. Cranking up Back In Black, which seems to help somehow. You have to understand something about Dougie, fine readers - I'm a DOUCHEBAG sometimes, I get really fucking wound up and unable to think clearly and I over-analyze and can't relax and...
Why am I telling YOU fuckers this? You read this fucking blog, you know I'm an idiot already.
So, I'm cooling down, ready to go about this a little more relaxed. For an hour, I was sure she has a dick, or she's actually 15 and part of some diabolical plot to bring my ass down, or has AIDS, or is with the Russians too (how was I to know?), or maybe it's Amanda in disguise and SHE actually has a dick, or it's all a fucking game and she gave me the number to a fucking Pizza Hut or something. Some bitch did that to me while I was in Indy last year. Shit happens.
Oh, the phone number is her. I called ten minutes ago and she told me to try back in an hour. She sounded...like she was trying not to be noticed. I think she's still at work. It was hilarious how she gave me her number. I hadn't even asked her for it or asked her out yet (though I was 10 seconds from just that) when she yanked a bit off the receipt roll on her register, scribbled down her number, and gave it to me, telling me to put it away before somebody saw it. Hehe. Girl doesn't even know me but ALREADY she is smart enough not to want to be seen in public getting too friendly with my dumb ass. These girls today are QUICK, I tell you!
That whole scene (predicated on me going back for "forgotten" pasta sauce, an obvious ruse that she seemed very amused by) had the feel of a really nice straight-laced girl (she seems to be just that) suddenly up to something really naughty. Like "Wow, some long-haired fat guy twice my age is after me, he just told me he's in a band and travels a lot. THIS is the momentary escape from my dreary small-town life I've been waiting for." Quick, I tell ya.
Or maybe I imagined that, but she definitely had the vibe of a girl looking for something out of the ordinary. Hoo boy, poor kid has no clue, does she? Maybe I should take my copy of the Satanic Bible along and some Stanhope bootlegs. She'll be huddled in a corner filing restraining orders by dawn. Wheeeeee!!!!
OK, all this stupid shit has been therapy to ease the rush of chemicals making my brain function like a team of chimps on truck-stop speed chasing after the meat. Time to relax and move slow. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Damn, she's cute.
Love,
Dougie
-------
Called twice. No answer. I have nothing to do now but drink and sleep.
Fuck.