And If You Can't Be With The One You Love.............................
12.18.06 (11:59 pm) [edit]Fucking Stephen Stills in the noggin now...
Audio of two posts ago is here:
www.extrafancy.net/doug/newpost.mp3
She's destroying my will to sit still. I want to drive up there NOW and facially assault her labia.
I could have drilled a hole through my guitar with my cock tonight while talking to her. The fact that she was just as ready for me, and maybe even more so....I don't fucking believe it.
I am faced with a very strange dilemma for the next gig - ever since rejoining the band, I have been much more active onstage, much more demonstrative about how much I enjoy playing. It gets commented on often.
But the last several months have been built on one simple thing - the powerful desire I've felt for girl half my age 900 miles away.
My entire onstage persona, even the songs I sing and the riffs I stick under songs they don't belong in - it's all about her. We all know who she is, I'll just say it - Abby, daytripper7 - you have been the fire under my ass for a long fucking time now.
I owe you one, sweetheart. Goddamn, do I ever owe you one. Because of you, because of the way you've helped rebuild my confidence, and the way you've inspired me in the last year - because of that, someone who is actually close enough to be with is fucking crazy about me right now.
I have no idea how I'm going to work my way through that when I play in front of her Saturday night, but here it is - I'm finally getting something I need really fucking bad, but it's happening - as everything does - differently than I'd planned.
I'm really goddamn happy tonight. Shocked. in utter awe. Feeling a little sensitive about someone very special to me who can't be here. But really goddamn happy.
You'll always be special to me, darling. No matter what.
Love,
Dougie