Reindeer Poop!

Reindeer Poop!

12.26.06 (9:45 am)   [edit]

I've been looking for this for two weeks, and now that it's the day after Christmas, I finally run across it in a folder. I think I posted this a couple years ago, but here it is again, my kind of Christmas parody:

 

Screaming "Shit!", are you listening?
In the snow, I've been pissin'
A pathetic sight, me trying to put up the lights
Christmas is a big fat pain in the ass

Gone away is the extension cord,
Here to stay is seventeen tangled-together cords
I sing a GG Allin song,
As I string these fuckin' lights along,
Christmas is a big fat pain in the ass

In the meadow we can build an effigy  
Then pretend that he is George W. Bush

He'll say: Are you safer?
We'll say: Hell no man!
Not with you near The Button ready to push

Later on, we'll conspire,
To burn down the malls in a great big fire
We'll drive unafriad
Less fucking holiday traffic we've made,
Christmas is a big fat pain in the ass.

In the attic we can mix rum and some egg nog (but mostly rum)
And pretend that we're Hunter Thompson
We'll scream, "The bats took all my presents!"
And feed adrenochrome to Santa 'til he falls down

Paris blows, ain't it thrillin',
Though your broadband bill, it is illin'
We'll stay indoors and pray this goddamn shitty  weather will go away
Christmas is a big fat pain in the ass