What I'd Like To Hear
02.17.07 (9:40 pm) [edit]"Well, Doug, I do like you and you're cute and you rock and my pussy gets wet when you play Werewolves Of London, but the truth is, you're number 97 on my priority list and I've got shit to do. I'll see you when it's convinient to do so."
Instead of:
"You are so important to me and you make me feel so good and I can't wait to see you and I miss you so much and I love how you kiss me and you are so wonderful and awesome and you rock so much and I am so happy just thinking about you and...oh...my friends just got tickets to see Larry The Cable Guy, so I'm gonna stand you up AGAIN. Have fun jacking off, fuckface."
Guys, you ever notice how women like to go into these horseshit spiels about "All we want is to feel special and important and just a simple nice word is enough" but there isn't ONE woman on the fucking planet worth two shits about returning the fucking favor no matter how far you go out of your way to give far more than you actually feel like giving, probably because you've yet to see any evidence that they are WORTH the extra time and effort?
Yeah, I've noticed that too.
For all the shit I get about my attraction to girls half my age, I've noticed something else - all that shit about the "difference in maturity" they like to smugly hand you? It's a LIE. When I meet one woman over 30 who doesn't do the same goddamn shit that high school girls do (and you'll notice something else - I've NEVER ONCE claimed to be any more sexually/emotionally evolved than I was at 17) then I'll buy your arrogant smug self-righteous horseshit. Try getting over your need to control every fucking situation and imagine yourself superior to men just because the balance between our need for pussy and our need for actual love is slightly less balanced than your need for cock and your need to have the moral high ground over anything with a penis. UNTIL then, go fuck yourself while I jack off to an issue of Barely Legal. Guess what? Even with tendonitis, THAT hurts a fuck of a lot less than dealing with you stupid arrogant self-absorbed cunts. And they look better than you ever will for the rest of your pathetic soulless lives. Deal with it, bitch.
Gee, I've not got a very good attitude tonight...
Dougie
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I just re-read this and laughed my nuts off. Wow, I'm a real sonofabitch after dark, ain't I? But I stand by it.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (7:02 pm)
You're right. It's total bullshit. Can't say I've never done it but I'd like to think that at this stage of the game I'd have guts enough to tell the truth. That sucks.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (7:10 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I can't even say I've been worth a shit most the time either. But in this particular case I've done every goddamn thing I possibly can to be as upfront and honest as possible, and the reaction I've got is "Wow, you're so totally different than any other guy I've met" but she's ended up treating me EXACTLY like every other woman I've ever met. Women apparantly have this fantasy that men are all heartless fuckers with no emotions other than the "negative" ones they don't happen to approve of. I've got news for these tunnel-visioned shitheads - they don't own the monopoly on pain. And they most CERTIANLY do not own any appreciable level of stock in honesty. When I meet a woman capable of dealing with truth, I'll buy her a pair of jeans her ass doesn't look fat in. Hey, guess what? Some of us LIKE a fat ass. Shut the fuck up and pay attention.
Not you personally, FinalyFree. You're different. :)
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (7:16 pm)
LMAO! There's a lot of women out there that will more than happy to know that some DO like fat asses! heh.
It's all just part of 'their' game dear--and believe me I know what you're talking about. I've said for years that women in general are some of the most vile creatures on Earth. I've witnessed it! And it's frustrating too. But there are some good ones out there and I don't think age has all that much to do with integrity.
Calling me 'differnt' is perhaps one of the greatest compliments I've ever gotten--thank you :)
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (7:17 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Pardon the typos--narcotics and shit!
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (7:23 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Well, given that you're able to see through my bursts of bile and evil to what is really there and that you have enough of a sense of humour to actually pay attention and give back intelligent input, you ARE different. LOL.
See, men aren't worth a shit either. I know this. I've resigned myself to the simple fact that maybe 10% of the population gets what they actually need in a male/female relationship and that I'm not ever going to be in that minority. But that knowledge ain't gonna stop me from writing about it when some cunt fucks with me. So hey, thanks for reading! LOL
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (7:26 pm)
And by the way, as long as it ain't shaped like a sack of potatoes with weird black hairs coming out of it, a big ass is just fine by me, white girl. LOL
posted by: Spoooooooooooooooock! (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (8:07 pm)
But DUDE! It's LARRY the God-fucking-damned CABLE GUY! You know you can't compete with that.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.17.07 (8:40 pm)
Reply to: Spoooooooooooooooock!
Apparantly not. I can't compete with some ignorant half-wit racist shitbag recycling the jokes I told when I was 12. Makes a guy who takes the time to hone his craft and READ a little feel real fuckng good about himself, eh?
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.18.07 (3:38 pm)
Reply to: eraserhead667
Again, thank you. But rest assured there will come a time when I'll make some collosal bone-headed comment down the line, lol.
I don't think any of us ever get 100% of what we need (want) out of any relationship. I've just figured out that it isn't so much what you're expecting to get but rather just what you're willing to put up. Everybody has flaws, accept that going in, then deduce whether you can compensate for those flaws (which, by the way, you will NEVER change) or not. If you can, have a go at it, if not, move on.
And hey, thanks for writing :)
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.18.07 (3:54 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I think a key to what you're saying is that you can't change people. I've been as guilty of trying that as anyone, which makes my psychotic ravings about people trying to change me look all the more stupid, I suppose. But it's true, and it's why I'm only so prepared for anything substantial with a woman right now. I'm having such a hard time dealing with my own stupid shit, I have almost no tolerance whatsoever for anyone else's. Another flaw, I guess, but there ya go. The cliche is true - the only person who can change someone is themselves. What I find so frustrating is people's UNWILLINGNESS to change, mostly evidenced by this ridiculous notion that "forgiving" yourself is somehow valid. Fuck that. Accepting certain limitations in oneself is one thing, but whitewashing one's bullshit in an attempt to "feel better about yourself" is idiocy. I don't want to feel better about myself. I want to BE better. And I've met very few people male or female willing to do what it takes to actually go that route. I'm barely capable of it myself.
So in other words, why can't we all just stay in separate rooms, hook up a couple times a day to fuck and suck, then go back into separate rooms to get back to the business of bettering ourselves? OK, not the best theory I've ever put forward, but there's SOMETHING to that, right? RIGHT??? LOL
posted by: Nancy (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (6:26 pm)
"So in other words, why can't we all just stay in separate rooms, hook up a couple times a day to fuck and suck, then go back into separate rooms to get back to the business of bettering ourselves?"
Holy krap, I think you just described my marriage.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (6:34 pm)
Reply to: Nancy
Now, if I could find one like that, I'd get married again...
posted by: Nancy (reply)
post date: 02.21.07 (5:17 pm)
Reply to: eraserhead667
Obligatory meaningless bantery flirty answer: "Too bad our paths didn't cross at the right time."
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.21.07 (5:52 pm)
Reply to: Nancy
Yeah, it was pretty bad timing. She came after ME. She was the one who instigated the entire thing, I've just been along for the ride.
Guess what? I'm going right back up there hoping she shows up Friday night. Ain't holding my breath no more (wasn't that almost an Allmans tune?) but yeah, I'm hoping she shows up again. Stupid fuck that I am.