You May Kiss The Cod
02.18.07 (7:35 pm) [edit]Katie and I just shared a tender and special moment in time together, our hearts joined in father/daughter union as we witnessed a touching display of...uh...something...
We just watched Son Of Stimpy, quite possibly the most ridiculous thing to ever grace the television screen. For those who are not Ren & Stimpy fans, let me explain - Stimpy farts. The fart disappears and Stimpy tries to find him. He spends most of the show pining for his lost fart. The pathos throughout this episode is REMARKABLE. It's also INSANE. Finally, the fart comes home and they are reunited. But the fart has to go his own way, and he introduces Stimpy to his fiance - a dead fish. The fart and the fish get married. It's a happy ending.
Katie and I were laughing our butts off. Thank God we didn't fart. She's running around the apartment now going "He was crying about a FART! That's CRAZY!"
I'm so proud.
Love,
Dougie
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Things took a bizarre turn right after I posted the above.
Katie wanted to watch it again. I typed the above, then I saw her sit down on the floor beside me. She looked sad. And I SWEAR to you - she looked more than a little like Stimpy sitting in front of the TV pining for his lost fart.
"I miss Squeaky, Daddy."
She took Squeaky home after the post I recently wrote about him. And while she's here with me tonight, Squeaky is back at home.
We had a very sad several minutes (including a call to Mommy) and talked through how it feels to be apart from those you love. I gave her my own examples, such as how I felt the first several months I had to be apart from her. And I told her we'd see Squeaky tomorrow morning. Just like Stimpy finally got to see Stinky again.
Understand that this was a very serious and sad few moments, and that I was doing my best to be a good daddy and help her through her feelings.
Also understand that in the context of what we'd just watched, I was having a difficult time not coming apart laughing. I'm pretty sure it didn't show, but it took effort.
Finally, we got out her soft frisbee, and threw it around, and within minutes she was happy and bouncy and laughing. The way she is the vast majority of the time. Sadness hits Katie very hard sometimes, in ways that I find somewhat disturbing to watch given my fears of my bipolar tendencies being passed on to her, but the truth is, she's nearly always incredibly happy and a joy to be around.
See ya tomorrow, Squeaky.
Love,
Daddy
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (9:15 am)
It's a miserable feeling to know your child is hurting, huh? Sounds like you did a wonderful job trying to ease her pain. Just keep up the good work because it only gets harder--especially when some worthless SOB breaks her heart later on--you'll seriously wonder just how bad prison could be! lol
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (10:08 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Bill Engvall has a great line about what to say to a boy the first time he comes over to get his daughter - "Son, if you get any thoughts about hugging, or touching, or squeezing...just remember this. I don't mind going BACK to prison."
That made me laugh my balls off. Oh, I WILL use that someday. Hee.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (10:22 am)
LMAO :)
When my daughter was having all her 'emotional' problems at about 14 she would make all sorts of insane threats and wouldn't obey anyone, my Mother told me, "I'd wear her ass out" and I tried to explain that in this day and age kids knew they didn't have to take 'abusive' behavior from their parents (thanks public school system) and she could tell the authorities I hit her, and I could end up in jail, my Mom said, "It would be worth a night in jail to show her who's in control!"
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (11:02 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I'm a big believer in not resorting to physical discipline unless absolutely necessary. (Of course, I've seen some kids do shit in public that make me want to beat the shit out of them AND their parents with a tire iron, but...) To date, I've not once had to spank Katie. Her mom has a few times. Oh, I WILL if I have to, but I think there's more creative options than that.
Quite frankly, I find it very weird (and very telling) that our culture is still so open to physical violence towards children. I'm not talking a simple spanking. That's one thing. I get that. I'm talking parents who actually do beat the shit out of children. And then so many of those kids grow up to be PROUD of that. "When I was a kid, we didn't get no time out! We got the shit beat out of us! ain't that right, Bobby! Our dad would hit us with a frying pan and knock our teeth out! Yeah!"
But if someone is sexually abused, that's the terrible thing to use as an excuse for anything. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm such an asshole, but I was touched inappropriately when I was a child."
I'm certainly not condoning sexual abuse. But I'll tell ya what - if somebody stopped in the middle of beating the shit out of me and offered the alternate route of sticking his hand up my ass, I'm going with plan B. I'm not condoning it, and I never went through it myself, but I can't imagine it being any more terrifying or demoralizing for a young child to go through than to have your parent pound the shit out of you.
And yes, I stole much of the phrasing on the above from a Stanhope album, but that's only because he said it better than how I've thought about the same thing for a long time now.
And anyway, I think guilt-based religion is a worse thing to throw on a kid than either of the above, but you probably already guessed that.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 02.19.07 (11:32 am)
Reply to: eraserhead667
All kids are so different, my daughter was incredibly head-strong from the start. She was a very well behaved 'little' girl and she rarely had to be spanked. My son's only spankings were for thing that he did that could cause him harm, i.e. riding his tricycle in the street. I used the 'time out' system when they were young and it became even more effective as they got older. But my daughter just went through a particularly rebellious periods as a teen, I know she was just testing the boundries. My Mother never 'beat' us and I found a little amusing that she would suggest it for mine when her middle daughter was the devil incarnate at that age, lol. I think people in my Mother's age bracket hold firm to the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' mantra eventhough they didn't enforce it.
I can't even imagine sexual abuse as an option, while I never got a 'beating' I think I'd pick it over sex. Thank goodness I was never faced with either. But have you noticed how many so called 'experts' use sexual abuse as an excuse for EVERY kind of behavior. Not trying to judge, as I'm sure that kind of abuse would scar a person for a lifetime, but it's almost as if it's 'ok' since the person was sexually abused.
My, my, we're covering all the bases on this one, aren't we? lol