Suzy Creemcheese, Honey, What's Got Into Ya?

Suzy Creemcheese, Honey, What's Got Into Ya?

Listening to one of my favorite albums ever tonight, as if you can't tell from my last two posts.

Frank Zappa - Freak Out

There are no words to describe the stick-my-cock-in-the-litt le-hole-in-the-CD love I have for this wonderous hour or so journey into the ether.

Frank, you're the shit. And you always will be. If that God shit turns out to be true, cornhole a seraphim for me, will ya?

Love,
Dougie

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I can't do it. I can't make it through one of his albums without falling apart. I can't stop crying, not for him, but for myself. Knowing how fucking shitty I am at doing what he did.

I feel so fucking inadequate and pathetic right now. But I feel purpose too. Most of the people i love the most are dead now. And I'd be an asshole not to take what I've learned from them and do what little I'm capable of doing to keep their fire going.

I don't feel worthy of this. I feel like an idiot most of the time. But I don't have a lot of choices here, This is all I can do. The only thing I'm able to do for any length of time without dissolving into a ball of shit.

I'm trying, dammit. I'm really trying. Zappa, Hicks, Thompson, Zevon, Lenny Bruce, H. L. Mencken. I don't know why I have to be the one to do this, but I'm going to try. Just give me time. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing right now. I'm still working it out. I'm not you. I can't be what you were, only what I am, and it's not a hell of a lot.

But I'm going to try.

Doug