I'm Afraid Of Americans
08.15.04 (3:28 pm) [edit]Good Bowie tune, I thought.
I spent three hours last night listening to the CDs of Bill Maher's book When You Ride Alone, You Ride With Bin Laden. I recommend it to everyone. What I love about it is that, like Maher's stuff most of the time, there's something in there to piss off everyone. I found a few things myself, but overall, I found it absolutely compelling and enjoyable. Lots of stuff to think about.
I've just been reading about Shrub's appearance on Larry King a few nights ago. Let us explore some of our President's comments:
"The world's safer. Libya's no longer a threat. Pakistan is an ally in the war on terror."
Wow. That makes me feel a lot safer. I mean, the whole reason I've been having problems going to sleep at night was because I was terrified of Libya and their enormous threat to my security. I mean, fuck those people who came over and attacked us who were from, oh, I don't know, Saudi Arabia, I was just really concerned about Lybia. And I'm really glad that Pakistan is our ally now, instead of, you know, quite probably the place where Bin Laden is hiding.
Of John Kerry's proposed plan to *maybe* start bringing troops home from Iraq six months after he enters office (which he's pretty clearly stated is a timeline that cannot be set in stone) Bush says: "That says to the enemy, 'Wait for six months and one day,' or it says to the Iraqis, 'The Americans aren't serious,'"
Hmm. I thought it might actually be saying "Let's start getting this shit over with", or maybe "Hey soldiers, you can see your families now.", or maybe perhaps "Goodbye, Iraq. We're done, and now you can have your country back for real this time." I mean, maybe not in six months, but it would be kinda nice to say that eventually. I find it interesting that Bush considers this Kerry plan to be a message to "the enemy", seeing as how the enemy, oh, I don't know, weren't actually in Iraq in the first place. But at least that bad evil man Hussein is gone, because he was such a threat to...uh...not us.
Then he goes on to the fun topic of gay marriage and whether or not states should allow "civil unions", that lovely term that means virtually nothing. "That's up to states," Bush said. "If they want to provide legal protections for gays, that's great. That's fine. But I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I don't think our country should."
Let's take a look at Merriam-Webster for a moment:
Main Entry: mar·riage
Pronunciation: 'mer-ij, 'ma-rij
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry
1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3 : an intimate or close union
Hmm, seems to me that the only people concerned with "changing the defintion of marriage" are people who, oh, I don't know, can't fucking READ.
"I believe the American people know my style of leadership, they know what to expect..."
Yes, and that's what scares some of us, George.
And Bush's answer to "independant television ads", such as the "Swift Boat" attacks on Kerry?
"They've said some bad things about me. I guess they're saying bad things about him. And what I think we ought to do is not have them on the air," he said.
Well, that sounds like a great idea to me, George. Let's get our FCC on that right away. They've already done such a smashing job of keeping Jackson family tits from ever harming us again, let's give them a shot at censoring political ads that either don't support you, or that do but you don't get to control. Free speech? Ah, who the fuck needs it. But while you're at it, George, do me a favor and ask them if they can ban Bob Costas from talking over the opening ceremony of the Olympics next time. Christ, that guy is an annoying goofball. Kinda like...well, let's move on...
"Senator Kerry is justifiably proud of his record in Vietnam and should be. It's noble service," Bush said. "The question is who can best lead the country in a time of war. That's really what the debate ought to be about. And I think it's me, because I understand the stakes."
Well, that sorta IS what the debate is about, and exactly what ARE the stakes, George? If we don't elect you, then maybe some other country that doesn't actually have a lot to do with al-Queda won't be bombed to fuck by our fascinating new policy of preemptive war? Maybe Bin Laden will still not be caught like he hasn't been yet? Hell, I don't know, maybe Saddam Hussein will get a fair trial on national TV and get to call you and your Daddy a couple of poopieheads in front of the whole world. Or maybe, just maybe, we won't be able to have SUVs anymore. And then of course, the terrorists win.
As far as the "anger" of American voters, "I think there may be handfuls of people that are very emotional, but I think by far the vast majority of Americans are wanting to know whether they're going to be able to work and whether or not the government's doing its job of protecting the country," he said. "I don't have a sense there's a lot of anger."
Then maybe you aren't listening to those of us who ARE angry, because we DON'T know, in fact, we're pretty sure you're NOT protecting us, our jobs, or anything other than your fucking stupid ASS, you piece of shit. How's that for anger? Ya want some anger? FUCK you, you clueless sack of rancid fuckmeat.
Did I get my point across?
Love,
Dougie
PS I obviously stole parts of this post from the CNN and Merriam-Webster websites. There, ya happy?
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 08.15.04 (6:34 pm)
To add to my collection of stupid Bush comments, here's another classic, snipped from a Yahoo news story on Hurricane Charlize Theron, or whatever the fuck it's called:
FEMA said the state has requested catastrophic housing for 10,000 people, and more than 4,000 National Guard troops have been activated.
"It's going to be awesome — shock and awe — that's our goal," said Gov. Jeb Bush, the president's younger brother.
Jesus H. Christ in a flattened house trailer. It's a good thing I've got some of Kate's albums, or I'd be scared of anyone named Bush at this point.
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (3:15 am)
Dougie, that's one of the best posts I've read from anyone in a long time. Go get 'em, you rabid mother! Love to Sheryl & Katie...
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (1:06 pm)
Speaking of stupid Bush comments, look up anything Billy Bush ever said. And he makes his living being on the air! Ye gads.
posted by: antal (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (1:10 pm)
i saw your president and his wife on larry king's show too. if you want to know why the world hates you, just watch that display of utter stupidity. my main thought -after washing the bad taste from my mouth- was: "we're all going to die." i'll shut up now; anything else i say might be held against me at a later date.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (2:50 pm)
Reply to: antal
Yeah, we're gonna have to blow the shit out of you next, you damn foreigner. :)
I think watching 90% of American TV can give a clue why the rest of the world hates us. Stick an asshole president on TV and you're just doubling the fun.
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (5:10 pm)
Reply to: eraserhead667
What Bush is missing is that his traditional view of marriage is a religious one. And the way our constitution is written, it's none of his business if a priest or rabbi or monk or anybody else wants to preside over a gay marriage in a religious ceremony. The government can't stop that. It can only refuse to recognize it. But if he's not afraid to recognize their rights, then what part does he have a problem with?
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (5:16 pm)
Reply to: mblog
What Bush is missing is EVERYTHING.
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 08.16.04 (6:10 pm)
Reply to: antal
Hold it against you? if I said you had a cute body, would you hold it against me? ;)
Hi Tal!
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 08.22.04 (3:52 pm)
Oh yeah. Hi Dougie :)
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 08.22.04 (3:52 pm)
Oh yeah. Hi Dougie :)