Frivolous Lawsuits
10.13.04 (7:10 pm) [edit]I'm gonna sue!
That's right. I've been wronged, and it's time that I fight back and get justice. These criminals have done enough damage to me, and I demand retribution!
That's why I'm suing Fox News and Bill O'Reilly. Why? Because they have cause me great mental strain, anguish and severe emotional distress. The horrible effects of O'Reilly's show "The O'Reilly Factor" have left me with no choice. Now, I grant you, I generally do not see more than 45 seconds of this show at a time, but that is only because the pain it causes me is too much to bear. Yes, even while simply flipping channels, even if only for a mere second falling upon his hateful visage, I have been caused horrible pain, and my lawyers and I are right now determining the amount we shall seek in damages for the vicious criminal attacks upon my delicate psyche by this degenerate law-breaking fuck.
I figure I'll have to be taken seriously by the courts, because after all, just today O'Reilly has filed suit against one of his associate producers for this kind of crime. Yes, "great mental strain, anguish and severe emotional distress" has fallen upon O'Reilly because this woman supposedly threatened him with a sexual-harassment lawsuit if he didn't choke up millions of dollars for her. That cunt!
Is this some kind of extension of Bush's foreign policy? Pre-emptive lawsuits? Hit them before they hit you? What the fuck?
Now, a couple things. First, I'd rather chew Viagra muffins cold and naked alone in a room with Bob Dole than even think about O'Reilly coming on to some girl. My penis lies limp in abject terror at this thought.
Secondly, and I don't mean to belittle this woman's experience if she actually did suffer advances from the creepy fucker, but if you work in the same BUILDING as Bill O'Reilly, you really should consider other career options to begin with. Who the fuck wants to deal with THAT self-knowledge? "I work with Bill O'Reilly." Haven't there been suicide notes with those words hastily scrawled on napkins before some poor sap jumps out of a building? Come on, get a real job. Like delivering pills to Rush Limbaugh's house.
Of course, Dickface is concerned about his "reputation" being hurt by this. What reputation? Anyone with more than a 3rd grade education already KNOWS you're a twisted lying fuck. If you're so concerned about your reputation, then QUIT YOUR FUCKING SHOW. Read a couple books. Stop lying every time you open your stupid mouth. SHUT THE FUCK UP. These assholes are always concerned about someone "defaming" their "character." What a bunch of douchebags. If you choose to be in the public eye, then shut up and TAKE IT. I hope the National Enquirer produces pictures of him showing his dick to some woman. Come to think of it, no I don't. CHRIST. I have to go shower now.
I can hardly stand O'Reilly's horseshit to begin with, and as I say, I can never make it through his piece of shit show. I recently saw him interviewing some kind of religious leader, I'm not sure who. and this guy suggested that if Bush wants to say he follows Jesus, he might reconsider his rather unbiblical approach to foreign policy. O'Reilly chimes in with "Well, the Bible does say 'Judge not lest ye be judged', pastor." Like I need BILL O'FUCKIN' REILLY to give me fucking vacation bible school lessons. FUCK him. How's THAT for Christian love and stewardship, Mr. Family Values? This assface makes a living out of judging anyone who doesn't fall square into his pathetic little mindset, well, here's one back at ya, fuckmunch. FUCK YOU IN YOUR ASS. Lying, hypocritical, ignorant, self-serving WHOREMONGER. His show is garbage, his books are garbage, he's a lying fuck and a pathetic excuse for a pseudo-journalist. Puppet-headed little fuckmonkey. Dan Rather has forty times more soul and credibility in his left nut than O'Reilly has in his whole body.
But I like him a lot more than Sean Hannity. Go figure.
Dougie