How To Annoy Republicans
10.29.04 (4:03 pm) [edit]I've got a great little party trick (or, I guess you'd say "poll trick") for all you un-American liberal freedom-haters voting for John Kerry in a few days. Or maybe even if you're a Republican with a sense of humour, since I'm sure there's at least three or four of you left out there.
When you go to the polling place, if there's a particularly long line, take a copy of the Koran with you to stand in line with. Read it in line. Look very intrigued by it. Sometimes mutter under your breth, "Oh, yeah, I hadn't thought about that..." If you come to a really good part (or even a lame part, who is going to know, after all) point your finger up and say "I'll be damned! He's right!" After a while, pull a yellow highlighter out of your pocket and start saving the good stuff. Maybe have a little notebook to scrawl into for later reference. And when you finally get to the end of the line, hand your copy of the Koran to the person behind you (who hopefully you have never seen in your life) and say, "Cover me." And RUN to the voting machine. Make your choices quickly as possible, scream "Allah be praised!" at the top of your lungs, and GET THE FUCK OUT. Look over your shoulder a lot as you run to your vehicle.
Come on kids, it's fun!
Love,
Abdul
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 10.29.04 (1:47 pm)
Where I live, there are no long lines, but there are plenty of Muslims. I would not expect to see one with a Koran at a voting booth.
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 10.29.04 (3:47 pm)
I will not be going with you to vote, dear. :)
posted by: atticus (reply)
post date: 11.01.04 (3:44 am)
there are very few republicans in these parts so i like to hassle the democrats. out side of a the market by the park there has been DNC workers who have been asking me for months "do *you* want to help us defeat george bush?" well duh. it is san francisco of course nearly everyone wants to defeat bush. so i just act all flustered, throw my hands up in the air and say in an high mary tyler moore voice "but who will protect us from the terrorists?!?"
oh, the looks on those kids faces....
posted by: Dougie (reply)
post date: 11.01.04 (5:00 am)
Reply to: atticus
My first good laugh of the morning. Thank you!
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 12.10.04 (7:23 pm)
Doug, you're fucking insane. I love you, buddy.
Bruce